No more lies

No more miracles,
No more promises,
Lessons learnt, Innocence lost,
No more lies
No more lies.

No more God,
No more prayers,
Lost my faith, it's too late,
No more lies
No more lies.

No more light,
No more flames,
Inside my brain, winter chill
No more lies
No more lies.

Burn.

Divide the lake of my senses, the blood in my veins

Quench my dark side's thirst,

Make me evil, make me hate,

So that I cry no more.

In a spiral of emotions, stabbed with knives of ice

In my own growing solitude,

I stare out of a broken window,

Make belief, my optimism.

Shivers in the night, shivers in the day,

Tears that strike acid lines,

Across a tired face,

When will I cry no more?

Fire inside me, burning my hope

My worst enemy stares back,

From a mirror, he says-

Death is the only cure.

End of Today

Like a sad river,
Flowing to it's end.
I hide my tears,
She's coming round the bend.
The sadness in her eyes,
all the sacrifices,
And I try to be nice,
But it's hard to lie to myself.

When the sun dawned,
The world was smiling,
and the promises I made,
I was sure of fulfilling,
but then we woke up,
In the surrounding night,
We were lost in our lives,
And then I lost her too.

Now the sun sets,
And its been a long day,
Waiting for you, I lost my way.
While you sit all alone,
Inside your room,
Your moonlit tears, speckle the gloom,
But I m still so far away,
far away from you.

And now I m left here,
With nothing more to say.

Sacrifice

Untrustworthy,
That's not me. Well-meant words gone awry,
Yeah that's me.

Living a lie you say,
Underneath my smiles,
A grimace unseen.

Unheard screams you hear?
Take a look around, No one's there,
A Mirror image floats.

Penance of pain,
I'm condemned! Lost love,
if only I could change time.

I would have never loved.

Crumble

My hands are numb as she stumbles infront of me. Behind the sunlight streams through the doorway but the darkness of her blood plunges me into night.

I stare helplessly at a piece of my soul and my knees buckle with the sinking feeling of loss. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes and asks me a question I cannot answer.

As life slowly ebbs out of her, I frantically hold her close to me and wish I can turn back time.

Her life passes in a flash across my eyes and I realize that now I die too. The bullets that pierced her took me away too.

Beyond me, on the rug, cold steel.

Why did I do it?

There is only one solution.

I m sorry if this is the way it ends.

Cold Steel beckons.

Flute Of Death

O I hear it...... and the sweat rolls down my back.
O I hear it...... and my heart is on the rack.
O I hear it...... a mesmerizing chill expands.
O I hear it...... I see the Devil's Shadow dance.

God help me.. My tortured soul
God help me.. My sadness old.
God save me!! It scratches my vision.
My bloody eyes!! Unholy intuition.

Sweet flow like sugar fields,
Basking in a cold Sun, wind-less world.
It's dark except for the flute,
Beyond the edge, pulling my soul.

let down

when words dont come out easily
when all i want is to set you free
when hopes collide and tears fall
dont let me go,
just let me stay.

in your eyes i see a fire
in your breath i breathe my life
in your voice i find my soul
dont let me down,
just let me stay.

and if i let you down,
just hear me out before i go.

a dying man and his last wish.
in your coldness my world ends.

tik tok tik tok

tik tok tik tok
goes the clock
in a circle in a mangled angle,
detached,devoid,unreal
timeless
panic
and sweat,breathless
suffoccation

there goes the hand
that waves me forth
hear that growl
machines in my blood
drain me

timeless is pain while life remains short.

The God of Failure

The ritual has begun,
The wheel is spun.
Black death blood red,
The hungry grass is fed.
Grappling fear,at midnight,
Angels scream THE FINAL FIGHT.

Lilith slithers her serpent tongue,
My back creeps,my soul is wrung.
The desert sands eat through prayers,
The she-wolf slays heaven's slayers.
Torching what eyes can fathom,
The witches of Satan's harem.

God of Israel,you have fallen,
Evil roots in your holy garden.
Man against man against man,
Freedom's hand in a bloodsoaked land.
Sirens of wrath,blackout in shivers,
Where are your sons and daughters?

Warmongers you spread your trade,
As your humanity slowly fades,
You abandoned life for a religion of death,
Count your silver while you take their breath.
Bliss is the end.
Against who? do we fend.

Democrazy on India

Gasoline in my veins, Wind in my hair, Trouble in the air.
Dust down my boots, Sing by the flag.

Reformation, Our country needs it and we don't mind the kissing too. Terrorism in the backyard, terror in the house, we dont need the terrorists to terrorize, we got our "leaders" to do it but we don't want no terrorist to lead us.

Presidency?! The march of the puppets, A waste of mud, slinging in thin air. Who makes the rules we do not know and the sad part, we do not care.

Land of the masses, piled up on bodies, blood red and green and saffron, and blue and black whatever does it matter. Does a dead man speak?

Speaking about dead men, not the only death in the country. As we stretch red eyes over the gleaming casket of television, the stinking corpse of media.

Conglomerates Conglomerates You have bought the truth and packaged it in lies.
Not South not North not North East not anywhere but inside. In a land of oppurtunity we crave for boundaries, living in hypocrisy we invent our ideologies.

se7en hours

420
420
420

420 minutes and I m free. Free for 720 minutes. And I will sleep for 440 minutes. That leaves me 280 minutes to live.

Who am I kidding?!

417 minutes and I m free.


.......... after a while ....................

7 minutes and I m free.

its a freefall

A treasured cove of knowledge eludes us as we act like mere by-standers witnessing an accident also known as existence. In pursuit of the goals we set we tend to undermine the path we travel, keeping our vision set on that glowing light a thousand miles away.

Beneath the drive to run forward there is a lack of acknowledgement of the fact that life like anything else runs a full circle. Try as hard as you can you will get pulled back into the circle. So before you look forward, look behind you. That, so you don't end up chasing your own tail.

Do not regret for you have been given chances.
Be aware.

It's all laid down in front of us.

wrapped in barbed wire laced duct tape

the death of my soul, as it suffocates in a pandemonium of questions.

I m trying hard to loosen the bonds but the ropes grip so tight. They're so fucking tight and I can't even scream because they're round my neck also. I m being strangled but I can't cry for my eyes have been stitched. I can't speak for my mouth has been taped and all I hear are the fucking questions.

Who is right?
Who is wrong?

Does it matter motherfucker?

Do I need to kill someone to breathe easier. Is that the purpose of an individual, to struggle for an answer so that when he finds it, if he finds it, he can die in peace. My world breathes contempt. My world exists behind an iron mask. My world might be coming to an end. But I ll make sure if my world goes down, yours will too.

For we are but the same person.

It Rains

Cold . Shivers . Tears . Bleeding and unwanted, the boy shivered in the dark, his hungry form crumbling midst the winter breath that spelled death. His tears were the only thing that was warm as they rolled down hollowed cheeks, and young scars. Fear had overtaken Sadness, fear from the hungry wolves. The wolves that search for him, for his blood will quench their thirst. They ate his mother, they ate his brother, they ate his sister now they want to eat him.

He can hear them growling in the smothered snowfall, as he clutches a broken arm. Naked, against the world with nothing behind him but the edge of a short yet sad journey. The edge to nowhere for the boy from nowhere who spent his life in nowhere.

The wolves do not miss a scent, especially if it is a dying child helpless and hopeless.

The boy crawls back and sees the yellow eyes of his predator emerging from the hollow darkness.

The beast moves forward and hunches.

The child's heart stops.

Over the edge lies death.

12 July 2007

the howls of the loons scampering in my brains beside with the spirit of emotional breakdown. the loons are looney while all everyone cares about is money, so i start my day and walk down one way........ to my office.

so that i can make money.

and what do i do with it?

i think i buy beer.

there is a big lake in bangalore. i think its called the lake of discarded dreams and disillusioned souls. its difficult to drown in this lake, you just become overwhelmed by the density of it all. all your friends are shadows on that wall that you face all day while father time beheads those who stand in line behind you. your turn will come and ALL the money in the world will not save you.

MG Road bustles behind me. While jokes are exchanged around me. I feel lost.

Wish I was in Tibet, far away from everyone. What is it about a cold inhospitable plateau that conjures up a sense of restlessness inside me. Macchu-Picchu or Tawang, the highlands of Central Asia, is it the solitude that these places offer that draw my thoughts to them.

Am I tired of my life as it is right now? I m scared to say so but I think yes. I m tired of this organized chaos that I go through everyday. I'm tired of looking forward to things that I know will not last forever.

the loons howl. like a candle's flame i flicker and dance to the whimsical breath of destiny. some here some there but in the end nowhere. A fools dance... i learnt it somewhere. was it the greeks or the trojans?

does it matter?

Lunch time draws closer. And for a moment I ll be hunched over a menu card and then I will decide to have what I've been having all this time. My life is so predictable. The usual talk, and maybe a small walk ( I doubt it though for it does not look like the sun is in an appeasing mood today ) I don't smoke anymore so that's one less thing to do and more time on my hands. Time to do nothing.

And then an afternoon that will break me further into smaller little pieces. Hell has to be a very boring place I believe, for boredom is the worst feeling. Heartbreak is bad, Grief is bad and Anger can be dangerous. But boredom makes you dead. And my life right now, bores me. Am I dead?

So someone please take me far away, for I'm a tired soul. Maybe someone will. How about tomorrow?

2:45pm....... I actually did end up going out.